Your Hearts Desires

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Jul 24, 2005


I can tell you,
What you're feeling inside,
I can tell you what you want to do;
You just simply want to die.
Every night,
You gaze at the sky,
Not wishing to see the light,
But hoping you die.
You feel lost and alone,
A broken soul,
Lost in the unknown,
Alone in the cold.
You just want it all to go away,
You just want to die,
But you don't want to go the wrong way,
By means of suicide.
So you hope and pray,
Something transpires,
And takes you away,
To your hearts desires.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    Thats another nice poem! love how you use our imagination! its the heart of writting a poem! keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    Another amazin one Sarah-Joy(psst i know your name now xD) the only this is that i do think some of your rhyming was a little childish. in the beginning, it did get better towards the end with transpires, but some of your language wasnt very idk, like big, it didnt really interest the mind, idk what im saying.

    lol. that and these two lines- i think shoulkd have a break, the whole rest of the poem flows really very well but these lines sort of break it up. and made me kind of trip over my words. or something-
    You just want it all to go away, *
    You just want to die,
    But you don't want to go the wrong way,*
    i was thinking-(with or w/o the enters)
    You just want,
    it all to go away,
    You just want to die,
    But you don't want to,
    go the wrong way.

    and thats about all i could say for this poem, otherwise it was an excellent read and i was glad to read it. =]

    xxLauren

  • 19 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    Very good had some meaning 5/5

  • 19 years ago

    by Samantha

    I really do like how you make me feel the cold, etc.

    You have a way with words.

  • 19 years ago

    by Jamie

    Thats really good this poem was incredible it flowed well it had a good point, it rhymed well

    so the only advice i have it not even good just an attempt to say something meaningful

    instead of rhyming words like sky and die and night and light try using bigger better words, makes poems sound more intelligent and professional i think but yeah 5/5 great job

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