My Struggles With Life

I am full of shame
And my heart is burning
The life that I am living
Is not worth a thing
I walk in the ways of man
And I listen to their songs
I lust to be with them
And often my mind travels
Way beyond my body

I do not want this
But this is all I do have,
I want to escape this hell
Someday, somebody will help me
Death I suppose can free me
But how will I know that death will
Not only torture me?
It is my soul I often worry about
I fear that it would go astray
No man can help my soul
It is only Thee that Can.

It is the One I refer to As God,
My Sovereign Lord, the only
Glorious King that Sits at The
Heavenly Throne, that can help me
Live this Life in peace.
Though I feel that He watches me no
More, And million times
I feel as if He neglected me,
I still can hear His voice calling me
And I know He knows All of My
Afflictions, My troubled Heart,
My wavering strength
The lack of understanding,
And how my own evil desires
Get in the way...
My Father, He knows how deeply
It hurts me when I betray Him
Every time I fall to sin.

Sorry, it isn’t enough sometimes,
It is at least how I feel, But the Lord
All He needs of me is to repent, and to look
At tomorrow as a new beginning.
I will not continue on falling, not as long as the Lord
Is near me.

Every Time I fall to sin, I feel as though
I do no longer deserve Lord I feel so much
Shame, and disgrace, because I feel like I have
Betrayed you. Oh Lord, I know I don’t just feel it,
I know that I did betray you, I did hurt you,
I don’t want this anymore; I want to be free,
I pray to You Oh Lord, I beg You to free me.
I pray You mold me, discipline me, Show me
The way to your ways, Oh Lord, Do not give up
On me, I am Your Child, and I have accepted Your
Son Jesus Christ, In his ways, I want to walk
And I long to still be transformed into Christ Like.
Do not take your hands away from my life,
For if You do Oh Lord, I will be a sheep that
Is lost and wandering off alone aimlessly in
The dark world. Lord, You are my Light,
You are my Path, You are the way, Do not
Turn away from me; do not close your ears,
Oh Lord, Be with Me. Oh Lord,
“You Heard My plea: Do not close your
Ears to my cry for relief,
You came near when I called
You and you said;
“Do not Fear””. La 3:57

Oh Lord, “I say to myself the Lord is
My Portions, therefore, I will wait For Him.” La 3:24
Glorious King, I wait for You, I wait for you to transform me
To continue on molding me, To forgive me from all of my sins,
I pray Lord that You accept this Prayer, this Repentance of mine,
I pray Lord in Your Son Name, Jesus Christ, that You accept this
Confession of Mine. “I, Your Child, have sinned against you, mentally,
Emotionally, and Physically. I pray Lord, that You continue on Molding me,
To continue on Changing me, to help me Walk the path that You want
Me to walk on.”

“I remember My affliction and My wandering, the Bitterness and the gall.
I will remember them and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind
And therefore, I have hope: Because of the Lord’s Great Love, we are not consumed.
For His compassions never fail.” La 3:19