Deep inside.....

Deep inside
im not doing great
i feel like im dead
not thinking straight
inside my body, troubled, full of hate
i had to let out before its too late
deep inside, it cant hide
feeling so lost and betrayed
why does this happen to me every time
stuck in this place, where i cant escape
screaming and clawing from deep inside
i cant escape, i want everything to be happy and nice
but it wont be like that, it cant be like that
but every time i try to look at the good side of life, i don’t see much
and when i try to find something good in life, there’s nothing there
Just a big lonely gap that I am still trying to fill with love
Hoping that there is someone up there above
Trying to help
Wanting to help
Life is just so depressing that I don’t trust myself when I am alone
I think that if I harm myself physically or mentally, the pain will go away
Everyone’s just thinking that I just want to ruin things so I moan
But there wrong I will show them they will pay
But they will try to admit that they were wrong
Saying please were sorry we didn’t mean to hurt you
But I will say “tough you waited to long”
They will be thinking oh my god what can we do?
And then I will hear a trusting voice from way up above
And I decide to listen I think I need some advice
Saying here’s what you want……………….LOVE
the feelings inside built up, screaming to get out like little mice
And I broke down and cried
No one was ever really there for me
And everyone always lied
Saying you will get happier soon, you’ll see
I look at them crying there eyes out
And I see me when I was nine
I said “I think you know now just how I felt”
And I feel happy like everything’s going to be fine

I know they will get what they deserve……..someday