Thoughts of An Honest Plea

My emotions are running high, I cry at the drop of a pin,
I’m exhausted to the point of breaking, from this pain within.

I cry every night for the scenery is exactly the same,
There’s not much more that I can take, or much more I can gain.

My tears are falling freely now, onto the cold bed,
Covering up my lonely mistakes, and everything unsaid.

I have lost all hope tonight, and everything inside,
Every night I beg to see the light, from my thoughts of suicide.

But I am not okay and I am not alright,
I just really need to see the red blood in my sight.

The ribbons of red, pouring from my arm,
Leaving bloody stains, because of my recent self-harm.

Yet I know that it is wrong, the scars I just can’t take,
Why did I start up again? Was it all a mistake?

I don’t know the answers, to these questions deep inside,
But from my silver blade, I only seem to hide.

Yet deep inside, I need to devour my pain,
Held in are the whispers of my soul, but still it all remains.

It remains here, for everyone to see,
The inside of my soul, to show my misery.

Yet the tears are still here, devouring all my confidence,
These thoughts are so messed up, Nothing makes any sense.

So here I lay now, my life a constant lie,
I’m a fake person with only tears to cry.

Yet you look away and don’t notice me at all,
Into depression I just keep seeming to fall.

So look me in the eyes and tell me I’m a fake,
Tell me what I need to hear, much more than I can take.

Then leave me here to cry myself into insanity,
And then never come back to read my thoughts of an honest plea…

~Madison Leigh~ July 23rd 2005