My Life in Heaven

Why did you leave me
so lonely and cold
with my heart torn in pieces
and no one to hold

because now your gone
and I'm here waiting
for a vanished dream
that's slowly fading

it's now just a nightmare
that's beginning to come true
and I can't seem to get away
from the fact of loving you

I'm slipping away
from my life and my place
with just a memory
of your sweet, precious face

my palms are sweaty
my heart is pounding
as I fall through the air
without any shouting

I'm at my last few seconds
and I'm not afraid to die
I'll be much better off
not having to cry

I'm taking my last breath
and I'm arriving at my fate
as I soon begin to believe
I'm no longer filled with hate

now my soul travels to God
the sun reflects my halo and wings
I'm standing at the gate to Heaven
and at last the angel sings

she welcomes me with arms wide open
to my one very last chance
then I close my eyes
and my heart begins to dance

I see you and me
and your beautiful smile
the one thing I haven't
seen in awhile

then you take my hand
it's better then it seems
and we run far away
off into my dreams

finally I'm awoken
by the angels sweet soft voice
telling me I'm still loved by God
I have so much to rejoice

then I suddenly see a flash
and happy thoughts fill my mind
as I see me in your arms
and my heart that brightly shined

you once again whisper
that you love me so much
then kiss me on the forehead
my body you tightly clutch

you tell me I'm the best
but water just fills my eyes
because I know everything you have said
is nothing all but lies

I saw the flash again
as I suddenly start to see
that I was never made for you
I was only made for me

so why did I
commit this sin
I tried and tried
but I didn't win

I didn't win
the battle for life
all I did
was use the knife

now I wish
for my life back
because love and happiness
is what I lack

so God if you will
take me away
to my own old world
I'll love everyday