Not knowing what to do i cry my self asleep waking up knowing he wouldn't be there missing him not knowing if he even cares he doesn't even know that it tares my heart out when he doesn't call to say happy birthday. he was meant to be in my life even if there apart just wish he would think smart and pick up the phone. i miss the things we us to do even when he was drunk just wishing he would finally grow up after 16 years of my life and step in and be a dad something i wish i had .
when i look around i see everyone has this life a life with both a mom and a dad something i know i never had. just wish he would finally step up and be that dad which i never had. i have a mom , that I'm glad to have which is hard to be both my mom and my dad but if i didn't have my mom i would be no where i would have some one to run to when something went wrong.
they say i would be OK with out a dad because my dad drank but as i stair at the stars some nights i know he doesn't know how it fell for him not to be around. every night i think to my self of why god put me on this earth to suffer this way , i cry almost everyday because god meant for me to never have the dad i wanted.
the dad i want would hold me and let me cry on his shoulder when a guy broke my heart, the dad i wanted would be here for my first dance and to tell me how pretty i am. and he would be here tell the day i died or would be the one to give me away the day i decide to get married but i know that dad to me never the here.
