Foolish Foal

The third stanza does not conform to the meter you set your self, which is a shame because up until then the flow was nigh on perfect.

I think you could lose the second christmas too, simply because you don't want to repeat yourself with key words in poetry this concise.

You have a good idea that has been presented nicely, I feel that you just need to polish it a little and let the piece complete itself.

Bret

that's cute in a sad kinda way.

it rhymes really well, keep writing

good rhyming