Dear God,I've opened up my heart
please hear the words I say,
I need all the strength you can give me
for this is no ordinary day.
Please give me the energy i need
to lift my weary,heavy head,
Because all i want to do today
is curl up in this bed.
I don't want to face the world outside
or the people at my door,
I don't want my children to see me
while this pain is still so raw.
I don't want to walk those steps
down to the water shore,
I don't want to hear those words
about love and peace forever more.
I don't want anyone to touch me
or hear the words i know they'll say,
I don't want to pretend I'm coping
maybe one day,but not today.
I don't want to look out to sea
or up at the big blue sky,
I don't want to see the big bright sun
or see the birds fly.
I don't want to see the tear streaked cheeks
on all that are gathered round,
I don't want to speak to them
I don't want to make a sound.
I don't want to look at my 4 sons
and tell them everything will be alright,
Because lying to them today
just wouldn't seem right.
I don't want to look at family and friends
and see the pity in their eyes,
Or listen to strain in their voice
as they spout off all their lies.
Because lies are what they are
as they say what they think i want to hear,
For she hasn't gone to a better place
and she wont always be near.
Dear god,what better place is there
than with a family who loved her so,
I don't understand her choice
or why you let her go.
I did everything you asked of me
and i loved her oh so much,
and I don't want to live my life
without her smile,her laugh , her touch.
I don't want to feel the water lap my feet
or throw her ashes out to sea,
I don't want anymore to do with this
because its not how it should be.
For today is her 16th birthday
and she should be blowing out candles at home,
Not ashes blowing in the wind
and leaving us all alone.
