Came Back

Here they come again.
All the thoughts of suicide have come back to tear me apart.
I've tried so hard to get rid of them.
At first I though I did, but I didn't
The feeling of loneless and self hate come back as well.
The urge to cut, the urge to just die came back.
All my feelings that I thought they were gone.
When I didn't feel it again, but I just dug a hole deeper that time.
The dreams that I which came true came flooding back.
The acts of not believing that my life could change cam back faster then I had hoped.
Right when I find happiness every thought of suicide come to take it away.
Not this time I say time and time again.
But it grabs my heart and twists it hard so I will finally give in.
I'm stronger then I was before.
This time my pain and suffering is going to end.
I'll take my fathers gun and pull the trigger
of HAPPINESS