I really like poem.You are a wonderful writer as I said before.

i love it jeff i now she would to

great job!!

omg i love this poem..its great !

That was absolutely beautiful! The girl that you wrote this for is very lucky. Keep up the good work, you're very talented.

"she makes my life worth living, but it kind of makes me sad,
sad because she has to live here in this mortal life,"
I liked the repitition of sad. I thought it helped establish a very 'real' feeling for the poem. The repitition in general was very well done.

"she'll go on home to Heaven and sing the angels songs,"
you want an apostrophe after the 's' in angels'

I think your poem's strength comes in the length of each line. Since there are so many words inbetween each rhyme, it makes it easier to handle the rhymed couplets. I thought the rhymes in general were well done, and you avoided most really common rhymes, keeping the poem fresh. I didn't mean to write a comment so free of criticism, but I really thought this one was very well done.

Dude that was damn well incredible. seriously amazing, usually when i see a poem that lon i dont read it but this one kept me captivated...well done sai