Heather

For a little girl
With no single concept of death
The first time I came across it
It took away my breathe

Only 8 or 9 in age
I lost a very close friend
She wasn't even 11 or 12
But she met a tragic end.

No matter how many tears I cried
Nothing could bring her back
From that point on I dwelled on death
And everything turned black.

At such a young age
I felt such tremendous pain
And every time I've ever cried
I felt such dirty blood rush through my veins.

I can't believe I got to live
And she just had to die
And no matter how many times I yell at myself
I just can't figure out why.

And now that she's been gone
And I'm lonelier than ever
Sometimes I want to join her
So we can be together forever.

She would have been Ms. Perfect
An idol of my own
Destroyed now I am
And utterly left alone

Heather was her name
With eyes of shimmering blue
It lost its touch when she got leukemia
And eventually faded out too

For five years, I've been silent
But still struggling with how to deal
Unless you've lost a friend before
You wouldn't know how bad it feels.

But even though her body's been gone
Altogether she's not
Because the fire she kept burning in my heart
Is still burning red and hot.

I remember things she taught me
Even if they were a little dumb
But they were all I had to remember
And they kept me from feeling numb.

I guess now the saying's true
That friends will come and go
But if her spirit is still out there
I just want her to know...

You'll never be the girl I remember
Ill in a hospital bed,
But you'll always be the girl who made me smile
And never once left my head.

And though I struggle to this day
With how to escape from the gloom
I know that you'll be there for me
When I think I'm alone, crying in my room.

You will always be to me
A beacon in the dark.
And although you're long gone
You've already left your mark.