Another Taunt?

Lies, sorbid memories continue returning to my mind..
In time, most pain fades away, the rest hidden behind a fascade.
Even when they do, my expression remains amort.
Seasons change, memories fade, but why do I care?

Like when she said I made her smile, another taunt?
Iamentable state of pity, a mealoncholy reasoning..
Everytime this has been said, yet another doleful lie..
Somber dismay, wondering if its not lies?

Life has been disconsolate, but can I repent..?
I'm unsure if this time they are all truths..
Estacy of feelings has turned into morbid details..
Should I return to who I once was?

Lining out my options, listing my words..
It all seems quiet, the words seem to choke in my throat.
Evening has struck, yet I'm still talking to you..?
So, are you different from everyone else..?

Or maybe your the same, but you've been different..
Really listening, actually responding, someone "caring"?

To me, it could be another lie, but its too real..
Ruthless lies in my past, but everything changed aburtly.
Utterless, choking on my own pleas.
Tonight has been gleeful, not sombre.. whats changed?
How could she have made anything different..?

Note, acrostic poem..

Part two of this "epic saga"!
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/slang/poems.php?id=444704