If I Held On A Bit Longer

by Ren   Jul 29, 2005


I was holding on tight,
That one frightening night,
To a hand of whom I did not know.

They weren't pulling me up,
They weren't pushing me down.
They were just gripping it tight,
Not making a sound.

Then the storm kicked up,
And the winds took me away,
I saw that hand starting to fade.

I was falling down,
Into an unknown world,
Just,
Falling...
Falling...

Not knowing,
Where exactly to steer,
Just cutting deeper and deeper,
Into the night.

I see a white light,
At the bottom,
Hoping I was going,
To be saved.

Then the white hand caught mine,
And I was once again,
Swaying in the wind...

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by yogi73

    i like how you built up the anticipation and anxiety of falling, falling into the unknown world, and cutting deeper into the night. Great imagery and creating a feel of slight desperation, until you nicely finish with back to swaying in the wind..

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment :)
      Take care!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well written, Ren, with some great imagery throughout.
    I hope you are well,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much, Ben! :)