Untitled

by †JustAri†   Jul 29, 2005


Poison sinking through the bite
Spills into the bloodstream
Demise is quick to redeem
Another life is tallied down

Penetration of the mind
Makes less time for the fight
Blood swimming on the ground
A body for you to find...

*For those who don't realize it, my rhyming scheme is this:

A
B
B
C

B
A
C
B

I know i've probably messed up the "B" part but this is just how it came out...title suggestions would be greatly appreciated, as you can tell.

© Copyright Ariana 2003-2005

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by ~DyingBlackRose~

    hey i just wanted to thank u for helping me with the guy problem i worked it out and everythings great again between me and my boyfriend, but u really help. i liked this poem. it was wonderful. i have a title but i dont know if ull like it or not Swimming Blood hope u like it. thanks again

  • 19 years ago

    by Josiah Larson

    this is a very nice poem and I hope things are well with you! =) its nice to see another good poem from you

    good jobz

    -Josiah

  • 19 years ago

    by ElegantlyWasted

    I think the first line of each stanza sums up the meaning behind the poem. What great writing; thus i haven't seen a poem that could say so much in the two lines. I can't help you with the title though, when it comes to that sort of thing i'm hopeless. However Jacklyns suggestion of "Poisoned Life" is quite cool. It kind of contradicts it self in a way.

    Luvoo Muchly <333.

    - Kals.

  • 19 years ago

    by Jacklyn

    Poisoned life i think would be a good title for it. good poem i like it! glad to see more posted from you! i'll catch up with the others when i have more time!

    ~PLP~ lil slam~

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