My life....

*it is 5am, i can sleep but this is completely normal 4 me, i thought i would write a poem.....but I'm not good at poetry, but this is how I'm feeling*

sitting in my room,
blade in my hand,
wishing it to be all over soon.
i hate my life and want it to end,
for this pain - i can not comprehend.
i sit in silence for hours,
watching the blood flow from my arm,
its full of scars - like my mind,
I'm dying more everyday.

looking at your face,
i cant but help cry,
seeing you smile,
as i want to die.

it all gets too much for me
and i cant breath,
its like you're killing me,
asking me to leave.

you know everything about me,
but you don't seem to care,
i have all the pain and suffering that i have to bare.

your in my mind constantly,
but so are them pills,
i got so ill taking them before,
but it was giving me thrills.
my life was nearly over,
finished and complete,
but i didn't take enough for them to put my body under a white sheet.

if i had one wish,
it would be to say goodbye,
but i love you so much,
i love your big sparkling eyes.
they look at me when you say it will be OK,
i know soon it will be too late.

I'm going to leave this world,
I'm going to leave with a smile,
I'm going to finally be happy,
finally be free and rid of this agony.