Unfinished Story

by lindzy   Jul 31, 2005


Once Upon A Time
Is how a story starts
But what should I do now
It's all distorted and apart

The beginning is now tarnished
By your cruel lies
The ending has un-raveled
From my heartfelt cries

The middle of this tale
Has become unclear
False truthes and lies
Have caused this last tear

I can not stay with you
After what you've done
This stories previous closing
Has become undone

The new ending to this story
Is simply just quite this
Every little thing is gone
Like happiness and bliss

All's that is left now
Is my desolation
And my leaving you
Is my final salvation

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Erica Brown©

    So sad. I really like this though. How it's all laid out like a story. Very different and new. Nice work and take care darling.

  • 19 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "False truthes and lies"
    the plural of truth is "truths"

    "This stories previous closing"
    it should be "story's," since you're talking about ownership.

    This was a pretty good poem. I thought the lines were a bit short, so the rhyme scheme was a bit tedious since there weren't enough syllables inbetween rhyming words. I thought the rhythm was pretty good. Any improvement to this poem would probably involve a change to the rhyme scheme and an overhaul concerning the syllables per line. It was a good poem.

  • 19 years ago

    by Knoxy

    Hey, this is good...i can kinda relate to this, it hurtz i know..*hugz* hope ur alrite, keep on writing and take care..
    ~Luv Alwayz Knoxy

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