Why cant you see?

When i think of you,
My light goes so dim.
Like I'm stranded in deep waters,
unable to swim.

You poison my mind,
and the blood I'm my heart.
What did i do wrong?
Why did this start?

You make me so venerable,
torn inside.
No where to run,
no where to hide.

You make me hate my self,
Make me wish i was dead.
I'm to weak and pathetic,
say the thoughts in my head.

But i know in a way,
......these thoughts are right.
I'm so scared,
so lost,
drowning in fright.

I try to escape,
but its unable to do.
You've made me a monster,
a replica of you.

You twisted my veins,
and starved me of life.
Words cannot explain,
how i feel inside.

Just leave me alone,
why cant you see?
that this pain,
this evil,
is my jealousy...