Today

Why?
Why do you miss me?
What’s there to miss?
You are the one who is adventurous
I, on the other hand, would rather stay at home,
locked up in my room, left alone (for the most part)
I am sorry I would rather not be around you
Makes me seem ungrateful
For all the selfless things you do
You just want to spend some time with your daughter
Sorry to inform you, but we’ll never be like the Gilmore Girls
We’ll never be that close
Of course it’s my fault
And I should suck it up
I need to forget myself
And open-up
Why is this so terribly hard?
I don’t know either
It shouldn’t be this way between us
I’m hidden on so many levels
Only not the one I want
Outward disappearance
Not going to happen
I have to f u c k ing live with myself
I have to unveil my secret insecurities
Or there won’t even be a chance for change
There may be nothing she can do
But you know she would do just about anything in her power
Sad thing is, it’s not enough
I do not want it this way
I have to tell her
Today is the day
Get up the nerve
Don’t be stupid
There’s nothing to fear here
Just do it