As day turns night

by Patrik   Aug 4, 2005


Standing here as day turns night,
My life has become an eternal fight,
Struggling just to see the future,
Wondering if these feelings are pure.

Trying to live my life in the light,
Standing here as day turns night,
Still trying to find some delight,
But all I seem to see is blight.

Looking for that lovely redemption,
When something caught my attention,
Standing here as day turns night,
I see you standing there in might.

I smile as I see you standing there,
But I wounder what are you doing here,
Suddenly I begin to see things clear,
Standing here as day turns night.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Britney

    Very nice way to tie everything up. I liked the imagery in tha last stanza also. Keep up the good work.

  • 19 years ago

    by crystal

    i really liked this one too. keep writting!
    crystal

  • 19 years ago

    by Andrea

    i like how you can rhyme the whole poem and not use the same word(s) over and over again. thats so awesome

  • 19 years ago

    by Patrik

    Actully I can understand what you're saying. I usally have music in the background (although singing takes away my concentration), or I think of a tune when I write poetry to get a better flow in it, could be worth a shot, I'd like to think it works for me:)

    Best wishes,
    Patrik

  • 19 years ago

    by Samantha

    I don't understand why this poem was voted so low. It has a great flow/rhythm. Besides a few minor spelling things and whatnot (by the way, in the second line I think you should have "an" instead of "and"), it was a great poem. I just can't get over the wonderful flow your poetry has. It's like music that you read in a normal voice.

    That probably doesn't make sense but I hope you get the idea. :)

    By the way, it's spelled "wonder", not "wounder". :)

    Sam

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