What you want you hear

I'm sorry
for who I became
I'm sorry
it took me so long to change

I'm sorry
I couldn't be who you wanted me to be
I'm sorry
that I just wanted to be me

I'm sorry
for ever picking up that knife
I'm sorry
for trying so many times to end my life

I'm sorry
that I have failed you
I'm sorry
for saying I didn't want to pull through

I'm sorry
for all our stupid fights
I'm sorry
for crying each and every night

I'm sorry
that I blamed myself for everything
I'm sorry
that joy and happiness I would never bring

I'm sorry
for only loving my blade
I'm sorry
that I'd never let the scars fade

I'm sorry
that I isolated myself from the world
I'm sorry
that I only see myself as a lonely worthless girl

I'm sorry
that I turned away the help
I'm sorry
that I saw my relief as the knife on the shelf

I'm sorry
that I always wrote about my death
I'm sorry
I counted the days till my last breath

I'm sorry
that I could never see the positive side
I'm sorry
that all my problems I would hide

I'm sorry
that I said I wouldn't make it another day
I'm sorry
that I kept pushing people away

I'm sorry
I said me no one would ever love
I'm sorry
that I said love was something I would never think of

I'm sorry
for every mistake, ever little false step
I'm sorry
that my thoughts of suicide were the only things I kept

I'm sorry
for every wrong person I would hang out with
I'm sorry
for denying everything, saying it was just a myth

I'm sorry
for every time I ran away from home
I'm sorry
for turning to self-harm whenever I was alone

so I'm sorry for everything
I hope you can forgive me my dear
even though I'm not sorry anything
but isn't that what you wanted to hear....