Misunderstood

My friends say stuff
that kind of makes me sad.
Its all about their time
that they spend with their dad.

I don't have that privilege
its been taken away.
So what do i do?
or what can i say?

Some say that they go hunting
and other like to race.
All i can think of
is my dads in a different place.

All I have left is memories
that i cant even share.
therefore if i do
they all just sit and stare.

So either way I'm stuck
with all this bundled up inside.
I just need to let it out
i cant keep letting all this hide.

So here i am now
locked inside my room.
Taking it out on myself
i cant live with the gloom.

I cut my wrist
and hope that i can die.
Looking in my mirror
i see myself start to cry.

Right there in the cabinet
is where i found the pill.
Hopefully this will make me sick
so sick that it could kill.

I wonder what happened
to the gun that my dad used.
Then it would be quick
i couldn't even feel the bruise.

I doubt that this will happen
but oh how i wish it would.
because then i could ask you
all the things i misunderstood.