Right Before Your Astonished Eyes

I want to hurt you and break your heart
Shove your feelings back in your face
Like they mean nothing to me.
I want to make you cry, make you sob
Until you know you just can’t cry anymore.
I want to make you believe you’re insignificant
And have you hate yourself just as much
As I hate who I am.

I want to throw you out into this cold, unfeeling world
All alone
And have you try to make it on your own.
I want you to see the world
Through eyes clouded with all these tears.
I want you to have the need to cling to anyone
Or anything that you can get your hands on
But I want them to push you away.

I want you to need that razor like I did.
I want you to have to look down at your arms
And wince at the sight of the scars that don’t fade.
I want you to feel the pain of that metal
As you try to cut away everything
That just won’t leave you alone.

I just want to scream until I’m out of breath
And cry until I’ve drowned myself in my tears.
I want to break things, throw things
And just fall apart right in front of you.
I want my world to come crashing down
Right before your astonished eyes.
I want you to see what you’ve done to me.