Do I?

I sit alone and think,
i watch the stars all rot,
i feel something move inside of me,
i hear the sinister thoughts.

I know not why i am consumed like this,
i see not why i should suffer.
i understand, yet i don't.
i think, yet i am thoughtless.

fear is betrayed by me,
as now i have turned to torture,
i am no longer afraid,
i am now simply crushed.

crushed to a never ending scar,
a never ceasing pain,
a never stopping love.
a never holding hand.

i wait for the day i see in the distance.
the day that says to me,
says to me i am complete.
I am whole and no longer to suffer.

the day that calls me,
the day that loves me,
the day that rewards me.
the day that will embrace me, forever.

but is it there?
do i get to see it?
do i get to reach it?
do i get to hold it to me?

Do I?

i see not when it will come.
so now i wait.
and now i fear.
and now i cry.

forever.

i love nothing, but i love everything.