Drowning in this Red Rain

It scares me,
One of these days I'll hit a vein,
And then I'll drown,
In this red rain.

It's been growing deeper,
Soon it'll be a single slit,
And I'll waste away,
Bit by bit.

I've been calling out to God,
But this pain won't subside,
So now these cuts,
I still have to hide.

I can not find truth,
Among all these lies,
I can not find love,
Among these eyes.

So now I am screaming,
In this locked room of fears,
And I am sinking ,
In this sea of tears.

I used to walk tall,
Until one day I fell,
Into my own,
Bloody he**.

I give up,
This life I can no longer take,
This Smile,
I can no longer fake.

The thought now doesn't shake me a bit,
Maybe it would be better if I went to deep,
Then my pain would be over,
Into A restful dreamless sleep.