aww very cute...the last stanza is a little rough but besides that awesome job!!! keep it up...luv yas mwah

-kayla-

very clever how you wrote this. i especially enjoyed the ending.. it was different.. piece of art. loved it

Although it may not matter depending on your intent, the last few lines lack rhyme. But I think if you modified those lines it'd be even better. Overall it's well thought out and written. I give you 5.

I noticed that in really dark, depressive poems all the I's were written as i's.
I can just hope that this poem of yours is not unsubtly saying that you have depression, and please do not develop it.
Even if you have lost a loved one, and this poems seems to say so.
I've heard that "there are more fish in the sea" and although that is one of the cruelest things you can say to a broken heart, the truth is cruel. So mourn her as you may, and then move in.

I don't know if this poem is real, if it actually happened, so I cannot say if I am talking realisticaly or metaphoricaly.

//Truest Lies//

Very nicely done. A hopeless romantic huh? Give it time, things will work out I'm sure. Thanks for the comment on my poem. Hope all is well and take care

-kayla-

That was soo beautiful! Lovely write. Your words were expressed so well, and the flow was nice. 5/5
Keep up the great work!

~*Tay*~

That was such a great poem.The flow was good.
Keep up the good work.5/5

Kelsie