Never Ending Dream (Part 1)

I close my once beautiful brown eyes to sleep
I dream of so many things
Of what happened that day, about my past, and maybe about what I want and my future
But as I tell my friends I leave out a dream.

That dream stays in my mind all day
Everyday of my life that makes no sense
And I hate the feeling I'm unwanted
And everybody wishes I would just fall over and die

I go home from school by myself
Piles of homework ahead of me and no feeling to do it
I'm failing every class and all my teachers hate me
They say I should try harder, only if they knew what I'm going through every day and night

that night I was afraid to close my dark, glassy, brown eyes
For I was afraid to sleep as I layed there and wished I was dead
All of a sudden everything went dark and I found myself in that dark, bloody room
No one was there, but me, then I prayed to leave

The walls were covered with blood, dripping on the white carpet that looked like was the same in my room
I looked closer to the wall and seen words it read:
No one cares for you
Why don't you die?

I turned to another wall as I walked into the room
I closed my eyes for a split second to only open them once again still in the room
Upon the wall staring at me was a pair of eyes
They kept getting closer and more darker

I kept staring at them, because I couldn't look away
All of a sudden I passed out only to have another dream
I woke up to my own death on my bedroom floor
As someone watched me, smiling, urging me on

I took the gun in my hand
Put it to my forehead
Counted down to 1 from 10, along the way getting the strength and courage I need
As I got to 2 I flinched threw the gun away only to pick it up and say 1

I pulled the trigger
The watching was smiling and saying well done as he walked over to my dead body and picked it up
I woke up screaming and sweating all over that it looked like I was working out
And as usual no one came to my aid.

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