Goodbye to it all

To everyone standing before this hearing this letter,
i am sorry but i tried so hard to get better,
please embrace life and make time to understand,
that there is someone always next to you that needs a helping hand,
actions speak louder then words so show how much you care,
above all let the people you love know that you are there,
i am not Strong enough, too weak to hold on,
please do not be sad, do not cry because i am gone,
so many times i have lied to all of you in the face,
but please understand it was only because i feel like such a disgrace,
i do not understand what is going on in my head,
can not stand this pain, which is why i am now dead,
i am so sorry for the pain i am now putting you through,
but there is a place in my heart for everyone of you,
my life to you all was probably not that bad,
but behind closed doors i was always sad
always hiding and covering up all of my tears,
and i have done so well to act normal over the years,
but i am sick and can no longer handle all the pain,
this life has driven me insane,
this world makes me confused at who i am supposed to be,
i tried so hard to discover the real me,
my pain is indescribable you just can not image how i felt everyday,
please do not blame yourself there was nothing you could do or say,
i will be watching you all,
and i promise to protect you, i will not let you be like me and fall

this poem does not really describe how i feel, i cant put it into words!
please rate and comment xxx