Not Quite Right

by kel   Aug 7, 2005


I sit alone at night
Staring off in space
Wondering if anything
Is every going to be alright
I hear what people say behind my back
That cruel words and snickers as I pass
It just makes my situation worse.

I do not understand
Why everyone ignores me
Or why they are rude and make jokes about me
I never wanted this to happen,
If it was my choice
I would go back to the beginning
Never to be born
For they shun me, for getting raped
Thinking that I’m a s!ut|_But how is it my fault that it turned out like this?

I did not want my innocence’s stolen
Leaving me, feeling deprived
I just wanted a normal life
But now my chances are ruined
Cos, after that dreadful night
Inside me, a burden grew
And because of that
My parents left me; I was thrown out the door
To them I was a big disgrace, I was a little wh0re|_
So I was sent, to a foster home
And here, I thought my life could get no worse
But was till I met the new family
Especially the father and son
For yet again I was left a victim
But this time of abuse
For me and my new mother, were just like slaves.
That they thought they could use.

So as my story goes on, I was sent to another place
Another hell in which to live
This time it was because of my step-sis

The first time, I arrived at our high school
I went to headmaster,
About my situation and all the rules
And just in those two hours
Rachel, that little baitch had told the entire school
That I was a whacked up shit.

So I ran down to the bottom oval
Where I found a knife
To me it felt like fate
So I took a quick, deep swipe
The next thing I know, is that I’m in the hospital
So after being released
I was sent to a new state and school
This was when I fell
Into the wrong type of crowd
Cos, I was so depressed and miserable
That I could not care less
I started up on drugs
Drinking more and more,
Cutting at my wrists, to take away my pain.

Out of fear that I could die
My new parents, moved me
To a new school-high.
At this place, I did not know how
But everyone seemed to know me, and my horrific past
At this school, I have just two friends
But to me, that is the best
They are just like me, and understand my hurts
They are always there for me, especially when I found the truth,
The truth, of how everyone knew me, the reason my life is crap
Is because that jerk, who raped me, is the schools quarter back.
So for all those sick perverts, who think they can just do that to a girl
Should think twice next time
Cos, of that jerk, making my life hell
I somehow managed to live through it
Making me much stronger, able to take on whatever you try and sell
And to all those, arrogant people out there,
I just want you to know
Just because things that you are to scared to dream about,
Has happened to me, that does not make me the freak,
It does not make me different
For the freaks are the ones out there, making people like me,
Our already shit lives, a living nightmare.
So do not judge us on what’s in our past,
We really tried to stop it
I never wanted be raped, abused or unwanted.

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