I have days
Bad days
Like anyone else
But for some reason I make them worse
I hurt people
People I love
People that love me
And all for what?
It doesn’t make me feel better
It just makes others feel worse
So why do I do it?
Is it true what they say?
That misery loves company?
I hope not
Because I don’t want that
But I feel myself pulling others down with me
I don’t get like this often
But when it happens
Only bad things follow
Sometimes I get violent
So I keep myself as far away from others as possible
I throw things out of frustration
Hit things out of anger
Bursts of hate escape me at these times
And at the same time
Bring fear into my eyes
I don’t feel like I did before
And what’s worse is that anything can set me off
It builds and builds
Until I’m suddenly thrust out of my norm
And into another part of me that I’m afraid to unleash
It’s the part of me that’s hard to control
And even harder to put back
Back into that cage deep inside my heart
Help is what I seek
But from where
Where do I go?
How do I keep that part of me from hurting someone else?
What’s to keep me from turning my burning anger
Into violent action?
I don’t want to get to that point
To the point of no return
To the point where I know that once I’ve crossed that line
I can never get back
All I ask for is a chance
A chance to change my ways before I’m too far gone
A chance to ask for forgiveness
A chance to start over
And a chance to apologize
To those I love
To those I’ve hurt
And to those I may still hurt on my road to a better life
