My suicide

Why do I hurt everyone I love?
I toss and turn at night, my sleep unbearable
The things I did haunt my dreams
Turning all the happiness into hatred

The screaming, the yelling, all part of this dream
As I look into you eyes, you don’t see the real me
I hide myself under a layer of lies
The true me, you’ll never find

I hurt myself willingly
But others hurt me more
It seems to be real
But it’s just an illusion of my mind

An illusion that will never go away
The pain, the tears, and all the other stuff
Where all caused by you and you alone
Every time you look at me, it’s like a dagger to the heart

I loved you so much but you left
You left this lonely world behind
And me, you left me, the one you loved
All I ever wanted was to be loved

You took that chance away from me
Leaving me to rot from deep inside
I cry and scream but the pain never ceases to exist
If I just end it all, will it be okay?

You came and said everything’s gonna be alright
But how do you know?
It’s not okay and it never will be
Times almost up for me

Tonight’s the night, all the pain will be gone
Countless ways to die, numerous ways to live
A knife in one hand, a book in the other
I chose the knife, so you see

This pool of blood I lie in,
Is my own doing and others
The note I wrote explains it all
Open it and find out