I Wonder Why

Again I'm on my bed,
Thinking about the world.

I wonder why events happen.
I wonder why we're here.
I wonder why I'm alive.
I wonder why I care.

I wonder why,
I was put here on this Earth.
And I wonder why my life,
Seems like a curse.

I've got so many scars,
Hidden under my skin,
Scars that I try to forget
But will haunt me till my end.

I close my eyes,
And beg myself not to cut.
The tears are just to close,
I cant let them near.

So I take my broken razor,
And lightly press into my not so innocent skin.
A feeling of relief is felt,
As I see my blood fall onto the bed.

I'm hypnotized by my own blood,
I watch it as it flows.

I take my razor and cut again,
I try and decide if i want to make a picture,
Upon my skin,
I can't decide so I cut again.

I look at my arm,
And see the little rivers,
I can only think about bad memories,
I try and cut away the pain.

After a while it starts to work,
I look down at what I've done.
I'm covered in my own blood,
So is most of my room.

But it doesn't matter,
I'm light headed from the combination,
Of pain and loss of blood.
My heart was broken,
And so am I.

I fall asleep,
In from total exhaustion,
I'm too tired to care,
I only hope that I never wake up.