"I love you," She said
I believed her
That was a mistake
She had cheated on my heart
And ripped into my soul
Everything was so surreal
The one person I really trusted
Had just shattered my life
How could he do that?
I really thought that she loved me
I guess I was wrong
I guess everyone in this world has something against me
Everyone I've ever trusted has hurt me
My so-called friends talk behind my back
Now the love of my life is cheating on me
What can I do to make the pain stop
How can I pull my life together enough?
So that I have people whom really care about me
And so that I can pull myself out of depression
I pick up a razor blade
And look at it closely
I look at every detail
The sharp edge is somehow appealing to me now
I decided to try a new way to heal the pain that I am feeling.
I cut at my arm once,
And watched as the blood began to freely flow
Again and again I slashed my arm and wrists
Each time, making the pain decrease
Everything suddenly seemed almost okay
I did this for days
Until one afternoon
That day in particular had been really hard.
I saw my now ex with the boy she had cheated on me with
Everything came rushing back to me and hit me hard
As though someone was two inches away from me and threw a punch
I went home, and got out my razor blade
I cut at my wrists, harder than I normally do
The cuts were deeper
And it took longer for the effect to take place
When it did though, I didn't stop
I couldn't.
The gashes on my wrist became more and more concentrated
I suddenly became light-headed
I tried to stay up but it was impossible
Everything seemed to fade
Everything was dimmer and darker
I saw my life flash before my eyes,
From when I was a happy little boy
With nothing better to do
Than sit on the ground coloring
Up until now,
As a tormented and depressed teenager
Finally, I blacked out
I had killed myself
In my heart, I wasn't sure if I actually meant to
Or if I just wanted to escape the pain I was feeling
But either way, I couldn't turn back.
I had committed suicide
With the razor blade that somehow seemed appealing
