Father

When I was 9 you came
to stay...

Mother knew you before
you gave her a sweet 15 charm
I always thought it was sweet 16
Anyways
I didn't know you before....

You were now my dad
Mom said call you that
I decided I would try it then
Even though it never last with all
The other men...

She said you were funny
Like Bill Cosby
I thought you were too
Until I realized you were drunk

So I stayed strong
as I alway was for mom
She had me when she was 18
I think I was more mature
Even as I am now

You tried to sit on my kittens
I tried to stop you
With a fat lip I ran down the stairs
But you pulled off the door
and a nail went through my hand
at least I called the ambulance
in time for mom

Years went by
you went sober
but I was still scared

I wish I could tell you
I yell like you now
I am your daughter

I heard your mom
My grandmother
say blood is thicker than water
but I knew you loved me
Like I would never love her

I wish you were here
and we could talk about
when you would come
... to my bedroom
I knew it was
my one way ticket
Out of hell
But I never told mom
I had to be strong - like before
I`ll still never tell

Years went by
We struggled
I wasn't`t so scared

I moved out on my own
sometimes I had to hide from you
you always found me
And you beat me out side
when I was 19
I brought up my bedroom
and you stopped

I knew you loved me

we got along
until I was 24

Then you died
I haven`t been the same
I know your mistakes were
some one else's
I know they were

I miss you