Everyone looks and everyone stares
Acting as if they have never cared.
Feeling this miserly over these painful years
When I realized I’m suffocating in my own tears.
Crying day and night in my own room
Reaching that nights’ unbearable doom.
Depression taking over every part of me
Wondering how this horrible pain can be.
Seeing the damages living in my own eyes
Seeping through to the surface in the tears I cry.
Yet people tell me only to forget
But it’s not that easy with all your regrets.
Afraid of the damages depression has put on myself
Telling myself it is OK to put all my worries onto a shelf.
Never realizing that keeping everything in was causing me to die
Then learning that telling people I’m OK was making my life a lie.
Seeing the pain in other people but not even once inside of me
I could not understand why I could not see my reality.
Searching for the reasons of the scars upon my heart
Telling myself that I won’t fall apart.
Yet those words were lies, I fell on the first step
Realizing in my mine of my depressions depth.
No one here or there to lend a helping hand
Learning much later that they just don’t understand.
It’s taken so much time to understand myself over the years
Yet I found my sorrowful answers drowning in my own tears...