Grieving Breath

Wow.. that blows that she left you.. its weird how we feel those things,.. well i do like it.. as a whole its a good poem,.. but this stanza didnt quite flow naturally in my opinion.. for what its worth..

I hope this is a dream
And only a killing thought
Because still today
i love you alot

just the 'i love you a lot' seems outta place, not cuz the feeling of the wordsa.. but thue words themselves.. i cant really offer ne suggestions, n it prolly wouldnt make a diff ne way.. but thats my thought..

Very expressive poem. I could feel your anxiety and worry, and your heartbreak... I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure you'll find someone better. ^.^

That is one of your best peices (of what I read)

Its strange how you felt she would leave you and then she did, sorry bout that its her loss your a great guy :D

I liked how it was real and you could tell how you felt and it fitted really well.

I really liked this part "
I just know it's coming
Your secret plan to leave
You've mentioned many times
I can feel my starting grieve"

It was really well written.

sorry this may not be in any way helpfyl but i enjoyed your poem and have nothing to say :|