First love

My first love..umm..where do i start?
the tears?
the knife?
the blood?
the now new scars?
his first and last initials on the side of my leg?
my first love was more than perfect to me...when it first began of course..
we were inseparable! we were so happy and so in love..
but our love was blind.
and its all because..i care to much
where is he?
why hasn't he called me?
who's he with?
what is he doing?
those 4 simple little questions every girl asks gets shot straight to hell..just because we care to much
its all fun and games until someone runs out of blood
damn! all the things I've done to myself were all because of him..turns out I'm still in love..but is he?
he doesn't know about the cuts..I'm afraid if he finds out he'll like it..i mean, he'll like the fact that a poor love sick girl who is lost in his game, is hurting herself just to feel the comfort that she doesn't feel from him.
i don't get it..why does anyone hurt themselves over the 4 letter word l-o-v-e when all it clearly spells out is h-a-t-e and p-a-i-n
yup(!)...my first love was great
but now its lost and has leak through the open cuts on my body..to a point of no return