New Day

Each day is new
each new day holds new things
one new thing i promise everyday
is a new cut
a new door
a new river
for the pain to flow through

i know i need help
i know this, yes i do
and you know this to
so you try to help,yes you do
but i reject the help
in any way i can
you don't understand
my state of mind
when i say things like
I'm ok
just leave me alone
i can handle it

you know i cant
so you try and try again
and then one day
you put it to an end

you stop trying to help
you just say OK
you let me be
with knife
but I'm not OK you see
please don't leave me alone
even tho i say no
and tell you to go away
i need you there
too at least check on me

without you there i feel so lost
I'm sorry i turned down help
when i needed it so
but i just didn't know how
to let you know
that i needed it so badly

please come back and ask me again
ask me until i break
and say yes please help
ask me until i tell you
all the things
that make my life so hard
ask me until
you can make me OK

i am just scared of help
i don't know what
i will do
once i get it
i don know how to be normal
you see
so once i get help
where will i be?

please don't go
please don't give up on me

once your gone
all i have is my blade
the only source of comfort
is it running across my skin
and cutting me so deeply
watching the blood drip
as i lay there and weep.....

i just wrote this on the spot i am sorry if its bad but please comment it would mean allot