Second Try At Step One

It hurts so bad
the pain never goes
it never fades
only grows
but this is no excuse
for hurting you
i know you hate
the things i do
so i am stopping
again...
hopefully this time
with more success
i take a deep breathe
i tell myself
that its OK
i can do this
i know i can
i will not doubt
the amount of power
that i hold inside me
i pick up my pen
arrange my paper
and get ready to write
because i need proof
that i am stopping for sure
i know i have said
this line many times
" i wont do it anymore"
and its getting hard to believe
but each time i say it
i really try
i believe it just as much
as you do
so i am writing it down
hoping that
it will give me more strength
" Friday August 12th 2005
I am recording this event
to show it really happened
and was truly attempted
Today is the day
I finally stop cutting
I am doing it for me
and for all of the people
that truly care
because I am sick of the problems
and the pain it causes
so let it be known
that I am really trying
Signed:Rebecca"
I have faith in myself
and truly hope this works
the next step is
holding the knife
and not using it
so here it goes
I pick up the knife
and instantly feel its power
I feel its power over me
"No, you cant get to me
not this time "
i say out loud
I look at the knife
as it glints in the light
it used to be so pretty
and so welcoming
now it looks so evil
and uninviting
I throw it down
the evil coming from it
hurts my hand
today is a new day
and a new me
I can do this
you will see

please comment and vote it would mean allot