Best friend

We were best friends since grade 3.We used to share everything.We used to laugh we used to scream. Now it seems your floating by me in a breeze.I cry and blame myself.I ran away because of that day.That day you died of suicide.I didn't think you meant it. I thought you were OK. I thought it was a joke.How could I be so blind.I should have told somebody. I should had gotten you some help.Instead I just sat there at school that day and laughed at what I thought was a joke.You said you'd slit your wrist so jokingly.I didn't think you really would.I am so horrible. I didn't do what a best friend should.Now your gone and I'm still here.I don't know what to do other than to turn to the knife like you did my dear.