I only lie to my own self

I tell them lies for you,
even when you told me we were through.

I do it for your safety,
emotionally you blame me,

what you do to me is so unfair,
but i take the pain, so i can see those stares,

that you once gave me,
before all the pain,
before you made me bleed,
before all the strain,

i live in our memories,
which still blind me,
i still cant see,
how truly mean u can be,

you seem so close to her now,
i dont understand how,

i have tried and tried,
to be so close,
but down goes my pride,
i guess i will take another dose,

of this pain you give me so much,
i only wish i can feel your warm loving touch,

you still touch, but where is the love?
i still wish to the skies above,

for you and i, to be together,
forever,

but some wishes dont come true,
so as i lie,
i only lie to my own self
my heart
my soul