Not like before

As I grasp the razor
I think of who I am
Just a worthless nothing
No one gives a damn

I cut myself deeply
Blood is gushing out
I feel the pain and start to cry
I want to scream and shout

But if mom hears me again
It's gunna be like before
I don't want to go through with it
My blood drips on the floor

I bandage myself up
And put on a long sleeved shirt
I run downstairs and out the door
And fall into the dirt

My hair falls in my face
And it suddenly starts to pour
I cry there soaked and scarred
What am i good for?