I'm Torn

I'm torn between two worlds
My mind does insist
to live the one so safe to me
but crave the one with risks

Its driving me nuts
to live this lie
do right for others
put your own needs aside

every day it weakens my mind
i long for a new life
so different from this
urges so real cut like a knife

I have it all now
i have the dream
the house the kids
yet I'm not really part of that team

to all others
I'm sure it appears
each day I wake up so happy
In my own shiny mirror

each silent second I lay
in my bed to find peace
these thoughts overwhelm me
my chain and my leash

you did not cause this
this break in my mind
I've felt this for so long
your an excuse I did find

don't give yourself credit
it was already there
it came to a head
the walls couldn't bear

I think of you so much
I forget reality
but even if I had you
i still have to deal with me

all of my discontent
and all of my pain
you so adore me
could you deal with the rain