I can relate to this very much except for the last paragraph for he's still alive. It hurt so much when i see him with my best friend and doesn't give a damn about me, i hate him and at the same time love him, i do not want to see him suffer but at the same time i would love to make him suffer.

Confusing right, sorry for writing out what bothers me when it's none of your concern, i often does that when i read a poem. It just kind of pop out of my mind. Anyway, nice poem. 5/5.