Another Scar

If I could turn back the hands of time I would
Because I regret not saying the things I should
I would have never suspected you to die so soon
But I guess unlikely things happen..But why'd it happen to you...
You were an answer to my prayers, To all my questions near.....
But now with no reason to understand, I spend my days...Stuck living in a tear
It's ashame its not my tear, because god knows I can't cry...
Because I ran out of water that day, I cried my eyes out when you died....
I feel like I'm losing you though, I'm losing my thoughts and dreams of you
I'm losing grip of myself, I can no longer control what I do.
Who knows what will happen, what if I end someones life...
Maybe its best if I take control this once...And correctly use this knife.
One cut on the right hand...The next left and deep.
Blood drips down my arms, with your memories of me.
Puddles on the floor...I sit here bleeding in despair...
Looking back...I cut even more, knowing you aren't there.
The cuts are deeper than I wanted...I'm feeling weaker than suspected...
I guess this is what I get...For hating myself, and living life regretting.
I know suicide is never the right answer but what can I say
My thoughts are holding this blade, cutting as I remember that day.
My arms are covered in red...My shirt is nothing but a bloodstain
Okay this is enough now...I felt a good amount of pain...
"Why can't I stop sawing at my wrists, am I really gonna die?!
I made a big mistake its seems...This is going to far!"
The blade dropped suddenly, I had no strength to hold the knife....
I was sitting in a puddle of blood...regretting my horrid life.
I started at my arms....Blood was leaking like a hose...
I didn't wanna die...But why stay alive if no one knows....
I looked at my reflection in the knife...and thought about the way things are..
the broken soul I've grown to be...another memory, another scar.