Butterflies

I sit and stare out the window,
watching the dark clouds moving about.
Make-up running down my face.
My heart filled with so much doubt.

Outside, the rain is falling
and so are tears from my eyes.
Tears from everything I've missed
while watching the Butterflies.

The Butterflies in my mind
that have distracted me for years
I'm now looking past them,
and seeing so many tears.

I'm seeing past everything of bright colors
and all of the sunshine.
I'm seeing so many problems,
and realizing that they're mine.

I'm opening up my heart,
and letting out cries.
Cries from everything I've missed
while watching the Butterflies.

I cry for the people I've watched
as they slowly faded away
as I sat back and watched the Butterflies
thinking they would always stay.

Now I'm seeing it and wondering
why a person dies.
No one was weak or passed away
while I was watching the Butterflies.

I could always hold a smile,
even through so many fights.
I never knew anything about crying
and so many sleepless nights.

I'd never had the feeling of guilt
after never saying any goodbyes.
I'd never seen anyone so cold in a casket
while watching the Butterflies.

I never thought the good times would go.
I thought they'd always be here.
I never knew what it felt like
to live in so much fear.

I took advantage of the good life
while I watched the Butterflies.
I never thought about what horrible things
that could happen with guys.

I never worried about relationships
or problems that sex holds
Until I stopped watching the Butterflies,
and watched how everything unfolds.

I knew what I was doing.
My future was planned out.
Everything was perfect.
I had no doubt.

But now my eyes are open,
and I'm seeing everything clear.
I can't get a hold of the wheel,
and no one is there to steer.

I'm now lost and confused
since I stopped watching the Butterflies.
I have so many dark times,
and there's always Grey skies.

I'm seeing problems now,
and I'm seeing them clear.
I can't see my future any longer,
and that puts me in so much fear.

The Butterflies in my life are gone,
and I'm finally awake.
I'm now seeing what I missed,
and realizing that I'm a fake.

As I sit and watch the rain,
my heart is filled with doubt.
I don't know where my life is going.
I don't know what it's about.

Outside the rain is falling,
and so are tears from my eyes.
Tears from everything I've missed
while watching the Butterflies.