Purge

I can feel it,
Tearing apart my throat and stomach every time I purge,
I feel it rip inside me,
Slide my fingers down again and again,
The smooth and rough sensations of the back of my throat,
I jerk and it all comes rushing out,
My eyes are flooded,
I can feel my heart beating so fast,
About to jump out of my chest,
I gasp for much needed air,
I wipe my mouth with the corner of my sleeve,
Wipe the tears rolling down my face,
Look in the mirror,
Fix my make-up,
And go to face the world never showing,
I have a fear of you..