That's really sweet. I know that feeling and could connect to it easily. I really liked it and the original rhyming words that you used, some of them I haven't used together before, so it was awesome. I think though if you seperated the lines into 4 lined stanza's it would be easier to read and the rhyming would seem smoother to the reader. Set up is sort of important. but in terms of your writing skill, you're very talented :) Keep up the good work.