I am

by Miranda   Aug 19, 2005


I am like a tree
limbs, are the pieces of me
a strong tree set free

*a chinese haiku

please comment on all my poems it's important to see what my readers think

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  • 19 years ago

    by †JustAri†

    "Haiku: An unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines, usually has a seasonal reference or on nature.
    Arrangement: 5-7-5 syllable count."

    *Japanese, not Chinese, m'dear. :)

    Just a bit of critisism for this poem: I find the rhymes of "tree", "me", and "free" cliche and annoying.

    And also...your comparison of yourself and the tree is vaguely described. It may have sounded good read aloud, but not when you actually analyze the poem.

    Note: There's always room and time to improve! :)

    //Ari\\

    • 8 years ago

      by Miranda

      I was still not even out of high school when I wrote this didn't really understand how poetry should be written without cliches... I totally see what you are saying but I would have noticed or even cared to back in 05. But thank you for taking the time to send me feedback it is appreciated.

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