Windows

\"The walls taunted with enclosure, held captive within four. Unstable appearances, dampened by the before victims. The well labeled door gave a taste of the torturous outcomes. Exaggerated by the emptiness. Nothing to hate except walls. So many walls, only four, too many. A chair, my sight focused on the chair. Metal, rusted on the right leg about 2 inches from the ground. Just a strap to sit on: fabric, three holes. The room stank of death. An overwhelming stench appalled. No time for descriptions. NO TIME FOR DESCRIPTIONS.\"

Each blood stained wall remained, and for the days I was in the room, they always remained. The ceiling fell, pushing my adapting fears further than before. Each slight lowering was perfectly timed by the inflictor. The chair was the outcome of good behavior. I never sat on it, gifts from inflictor were appreciated not.

\"Yet another painful wake. Dreams are the only exit. Sleep is the answer. The only answer. I MUST ESCAPE THIS ROOM. A simple realm of escapeless being, with inhabitants unjust. PRIVACY HAS NO BENEFITS. Creation passes by the airless cubicle. YET ANOTHER PRICELESS REWARD\"

All the praying for an escape felt unjustly misinterpreted. It was at this point in my stay that I realized God did not exist. Faith is wasted on hope, and hope was all that I did. Staring at the walls, waiting for a window to appear. Another exit exterminated.

“A late arrival of an overdue visitor. HERE. ENTERED MY WORLD. Accepted exit. My elaborated heart is overwhelmed by other realms. Sanity in. SANITY IN. My window. My window.\"

My hope had failed me again. A lesson to be learnt. My hope had caused my mind to imagine the ruling exit. Windows apparent in my mind, obscene in others. Finding out my mind had played the imposter hurt.

\"No more sleep. If I am not sane, ill keep my insane. Hurt the insane. GOD CREATED THE RETARD. GOD CAN KILL THE RETARD. Revolting substance. Just another toxic substance. I’m just an evolved toxin. Hurting the world. NO MORE DREAMS. ESCAPE TIME OVER. WINDOWS SHUT. Bear with me.\"

And for the remaining time, I hated the walls. For turning me into the hated. The insane.

\"The ceiling creating a difficulty in walking. Adaptation is no longer available. That escapes evaporated once more. The emptiness is no more. My mind stuffed with emotions. NEVER BEFORE FELT HATE. That I’m just an experiment. Taking it is unnecessary. Below the belt, stripped of clothing, the belt disappeared. No low blows. BUT ISNT THIS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT. JUST A SEARCH FOR AN EXIT.\"

Search I did, revising every possible exit, each and every reluctant window from which to escape. The window left in me in bouts of unheard shouts, needle less pain. Searching had dumbfounded me, taken the life I, perhaps misunderstood, but used to love, and rid me of hope. Life is meaningless without hope, and so was I. HOPELESS.

“As I am the sinner. I am the unintended virus, leach. Taking the rich and wonderful air, with potential for the real. If I am the insane, I’ll keep my insane and wither, destroy the walls and set myself free. My window appeared my exit is here, I leave the world unjustly, and it is this I fear. The window is ruling, the exit is dear, shall I dissolve, or disappear?”

DONT LOOK TOO DEEP, YOU MIGHT FIND IT...