My Dying Thought

I’m hanging by a thread
Left alone to rot and bleed
The stars are hidden tonight
Because of a blanket of darkness
The tears shine clearly in my eyes
Falling fast
Making a puddle
No one’s around to help
There’s a knife that’s waiting
Just within my grasp
My life could end in an instant
Just a deep cut will do
Enough for my vein to break through

So I reach for it
I’m almost at the end
My eyes are reflected
On the shiny, beautiful surface of the blade
It’s clean for now
But after a couple minutes
After a few pulsing heartbeats
It will be stained with crimson
My blood will gather on the floor
With just my body lying there
All the pain I’ve ever felt
And all the suffering I have hidden
Will escape me, surround me

The cold blade is set
Ready to make its way through
I take a quick breath
Ignore the pounding of my head
It’s slowly digging past my flesh
Tears of red pop up
From beneath the surface
I’m screaming to keep it in place
This is something I need to do
Not deep enough yet
Keep going
Just a little bit more
Come on, almost there…

Then a force makes me stop
It slaps me in the face
Pinches me in the throat
The knife falls from my grip
I collapse onto the floor
Drenched in my own blood
The room was starting to go dim
Hold on…oh my god, it still is
So I begin to lose conscience
I realize I DID go deep enough
But as I’m dying, I’m full of regret
You’re the one that was keeping me alive
And now I just left you, my love, behind

©® August 2005
Ciermae B.